tumblr SHIELD. for 3 bucks a month, whenever a blaze post would appear on your dash, a pre-loaded post of yours instead appears on the dashboard of the person who tried to blaze you
tumblr BLAST. for 5 bucks a month, whenever a blaze post of yours would be blocked by tumblr shield, it instead appears in all caps at the top of the shielded person’s dashboard for an hour and flashes violently whenever they try to block it
tumblr POSSESS. for 200$ a day you can post using another person’s blog, though you cannot change their blog in any other way nor delete their previous posts. at the end of the day they receive half of the 200 dollars
tumblr TRUE SIGHT. for 6$ monthly you can see when a blog is possessed. tumblr SCRY. for 30$ a day you can read other blogs’ private messages
tumblr POWER WORD KILL. for a one time payment of 6,666 bucks, you can delete another blog entirely. tumblr notifies all of that blog’s mutuals that you killed them. each user can only use this feature once, and thereafter loses the ability to use any of the other tumblr spells. you must have been a user for at least 10 years to use this feature
tumblr UNDENIABLE SUMMONS. for 35$ you enchant a blog such that they cannot post again until they answer your ask. alternatively, you can simply set a price point of your choosing which they will receive if they choose to answer the ask (though they are not obligated to)
tumblr ENTHRALL. for 4$ a month you can use gifs as your icon again
tumblr FAMILIAR. for 5$ a month, you summon a small, cute familiar—such as a crab, snail, owl or frog—which can carry small messages onto your mutuals’ dashboards for you. owning a familiar also protects you from being tumblr POSSESSed by anyone but your own mutuals
tumblr REFLECT. for a one time payment of 100 dollars, the next time someone attempts to use POWER WORD KILL on you, they are deleted instead. there is no way of knowing whether someone has this feature active
seriously I had some little TikTok teenybopper burst out laughing on my tour because I said that a historical figure was “most likely what we’d now call gay”
like
listen
you’re free to take a ouija board out to the cemetery and try to explain the dizzying array of current queer terms and get a solid answer as to how he identifies within that framework but
until then, I’m going to continue NOT definitively assigning someone identity terms they didn’t self-identify with, and might not have even known, when I’m responsible for representing them faithfully and they’re not here to correct me. even more so when they’re part of my own community
I mean, you know, as long as that’s okay with you. Bestie.
[ID: tags that read: “#time traveler: so now that i’ve explained our current understanding of sexuality would you say you identify more as lesbian or bi? #sappho: we went to the moon? #time traveler: yeah but remember what i told you about the gender binary? can we talk about- #sappho: the moon in the fucking sky?” end ID.]
my theory is that reincarnation is real and that’s why everything is so fucked up. we got too many people on earth and their souls were supposed to spend a few more cycles as endangered animals or smthn but we fucked the environment and overpopulated. so we get guys who was SUPPOSED to be black-footed ferrets or whatever til their soul reached maturity but instead they’re like, influencers and politicians. this is also why furries exist.
